Pondering atonement

I finished Ian McEwan's book (possible spoilers ahead), and I have to say it's brilliant. I mean it took me a while (2 readings) to get through the first part. Of course, perhaps I had the wrong motive for reading it. Atonement was made into a movie starring Keira Knightly and James McAvoy that's getting released in December.
So I guess when I started reading the book, I kind of assumed the plot would quickly develop like a movie. You know, the typical boy meets girl, boy loses girl, and boy gets girl back variety that's so popular in Jane Austen's novels and musical productions. Since I was reading a book, I didn't feel like singing and dancing a jig. Once I figured out that the book took place on a hot, summer, lazy day and the writer's style of revealing plot and characters was similar, though, I was more apt to kind of sit back and just see where Mr. McEwan was taking me. And, the conclusion of his book really resonated with me.
It's all about beliefs, assumptions, and seeing things. Briony had beliefs and assumptions about her sister, Cecilia and Robbie, a childhood friend. So when it was dark and Briony saw something terrible in the woods, she filtered what she saw through her beliefs and assumptions rather than what actually occurred. Kind of what I did when I first started reading Atonement. I assumed that the book would be like a TV dinner in that it would quickly give me something to eat. Instead, it was rather like a feast that came in many courses and offered ample time to savor each entree.
And, I am finding that beliefs and assumptions affect how I see other things as well. For example, I watched half of an episode of Freaks and Geeks when it was on the air. The Geeks (Sam, Bill, and Neal) were getting ready to go party with the poplar kids. I assumed that their venture would end up in humilation because I believed that's what their peers would do to them so I turned it off. If kept watching, though, I would have seen a little embarrassment of Neal having to kiss Bill when they played spin the bottle. But, I also would have seen Bill's triumph of being kissed by the prettiest girl at school.
Isn't that what life is? A little embarrassment mixed in with triumphant moments? But, then there's also the things that we see and as we filter them through our beliefs and assumptions, sometimes the result is something we regret. Something that we wish we could atone for but cannot change.
What's the solution? Because as I'm writing this, I am realizing that I have beliefs and assumptions about everything: Converse shoes, chocolate, and Jane Austen's novels. I am not sure if there's a solution, but I do believe that what I think and believe affects my emotions and actions. So I suppose I should try to identify what those are and my motives for having them before acting upon them.
I guess this post is a bit darker than my usual fare. I feel like I should add a smiley face or something to lighten up its tone. But, sweet and sour is what I am. I usually try to repress the sour parts and be only sweet, but somehow, the sourness in me still shines through. And, I have no idea how to end this post. Maybe it could be like the song that never ends.
Or, I could talk about what else I've been doing with my time. Hmmm. I think I have spotted my illusive unicorn in the Converse world (chocolate brown and off white Chuck Taylors). I am still waiting for them to be shipped to me so I'll have to get back to you whether or not the legend is real.
I stopped watching Chuck. Although I am glad Chuck and I share a similar taste in shoes, I found Moonlight and Samantha Who more interesting. Hey, maybe Samantha and Mick St. John can wear Cons, too, as they are finding their identity and saving the world.

Converse invasion

I was happy to see the main character on the show, Chuck, wearing black high-tops. My opinion of the show isn't quite formed, but the shoes convince me to go on a little faith and maybe watch a few more episodes. Amanda Bynes also wore black low-tops in her movie, Sydney White. Although I've yet to have the gumption to wear these shoes with a sundress, I was please to see someone in Cons that could also wield a hammer as well as study books.
Someone said to me that I fit the "bookish" type of Converse-wearer. Since I'm a librarian, I guess it makes sense. But, frankly, my affection for Cons comes from the fact that I have big feet, and I think that wearing them makes my feet look smaller. And, since Converse come in universal sizes, I don't have any trouble finding ones that fit my feet.
So you think will Converse becoming more popular, that I would be buying more? No, not yet.

Missing out

Besides avoiding my third bouquet toss of the year, I also missed the first annual running of the Elvises. http://http://www.runelvisrun.com/ Guess I'll have to wait another year to sing and shake like the King of Rock and Roll. Actually, I wonder which would would have bigger odds - me catching a bouquet or me running like Elvis.
Another thing I'll be missing today is the sequel to High School Musical. I'm not sure if I'll catch it later on DVD. The first one was peppy and fun. And, with Kenny Ortega at the helm again, who knows? I might find it enjoyable if I'm looking for a dollop of fluffy entertainment. I'm curious how long the phenomenon is going to last, though. (And how long I'll see High School Musical folders, jewelry, and t-shirts in stores.)
But, I did catch The Bourne Ultimatum when it opened in theaters. Seeing Matt Damon run throughout the movie was thrill. Although the Jason Bourne movies are entirely different than Robert Ludlam's books, I found the final installment well worth the admission of a movie ticket. I also saw Hairspray, too. It was a hoot to watch, and it had me walking out of the theater with its music stuck in my head.
So maybe I haven't missed out after all? It's amazing how our culture can guilt us into making us feel excluded. There's always the hit movie, TV show, etc. that become the topic of conversation. And, you almost feel compelled to buy into all just so you can join in the discussion. But, maybe feeling connected is the root desire behind it all. People are looking for an access point to converse easily with people they may or may not know very well. It gives them a temporary bond of community seeing the funniest Super Bowl commercial or the latest blockbuster.
Why does community, though, have to fueled by the consumption of stuff? Why can't it just naturally occur? I just tell you what's going on in my life and you tell me what's going on in yours. Hmmm...maybe that's a question for Dr. Phil to answer.

Under the looking glass

So this summer I've managed to avoid two bouquet tosses, and I'm hoping to avoid my third this week. For those of you who are wondering why I, a single woman soon approaching my 30th birthday, would scurry away from bouquet tosses instead of trying to claim one of them for my own - let me just clarify something.
Bouquet tosses are humiliating. I feel like a show dog being led out into the ring. See the single girl. She's yet to find her perfect mate, but if you give her whirl, maybe she's the gal for you.
However, if the flowers were really magical and guaranteed me an instant walk down the aisle, I would be all over doing bouquet tosses. In fact, get out of my way gals - this one is mine.
But, my sister caught the bouquet at a wedding, and then ten years later, she got married. So I guess my main objection to doing them is a fear, really. What if I catch one and never get walk down the aisle? How depressing is that?
So I strategize on how to avoid them. Occasionally, I'm foiled by well-meaning friends or relatives who make a big deal about me bucking tradition so I'm pressured to join my single peers. On one such occasion, the bride didn't throw her bouquet. Instead, she gave every single gal a long-stemmed rose. Which I have to admit was pretty nice.
So maybe it's equality that I'm rallying for. If you're going to make us single gals stand up and be counted, at least make it worth our while by giving us all a flower. I'm not sure, really. And, I am not against brides who want to follow tradition and throw their bouquet. Just warn me so I can quickly flee from the room.

the surreal life

On Wednesday night, I was headed east on I-94 to St. Paul. I think it was near the Hwy 280 exit when I heard the following on the radio. "The 35 W bridge near University Ave. has collapsed and cars are in the water."
I continued to my destination and flipped on the TV as soon as I got there. The images stunned me. I couldn't believe that the collapse had occurred, but it did. And, my thoughts and prayers went out to those people who had been on the bridge at 6:05 p.m.
And, now as the story has been broadcasted across the nation and around the world, I wonder how this bridge collapse will impact the future. Will it just be blip of memory? Or, will it truly be a catalyst for improving transportation infrastructure in the United States?
I guess I'm not sure what's going to happen. But, it's something I'll continue to wonder each time I go by the Hwy 280 exit and see cars being detoured from I-35 W.
For those who have lost loved ones on the bridge or have yet to find missing relatives, you are the ones that have been affected the most. Offering sympathy and condolences seems futile because you probably just want your loved ones alive. At least, that's what I'd want.

Writing Again

So it's been many months since I've posted something new. Summer is here with its warm temperatures and lazy days.
I've had fun traveling to the Pacific Northwest to see my fam and reading fiction books. The Golden Compass is the book that I just finished. Naturally, my motive for reading it comes from the fact that it's been made into a movie. And, its trailer provoked my curiosity.
However, I also found Mindy Starns Clark's Smart Chick Mystery Series enjoyable. As well as a few of the recently published Nancy Drew books and Stardust. Basically, I've been reading fluff or fantasy to make up for the three weeks I spent trying to get through Catch 22. Which is a feat that I'm proud of because the last chapter made it worth the trouble, but it is not something I hope to repeat.
Anyway, so I'm guess I'm back to posting stuff. I'm not sure how witty or philosophical I'll be. But, I did get a new pair of Converse shoes (green camouflage) so I guess if anything, that's noteworthy.

Rainy day

"Spirituality is anything but a straight line; it is a mixed-up, topsy-turvy, helter-skelter godliness that turns our lives into an upside-down toboggan ride full of unexpected turns, surprise bumps, and bone-shattering crashes. In other words, messy spirituality is the delirious consequence of a life ruined by a Jesus who will love us right into his arms." From Messy Spirituality: God's Annoying Love for Imperfect People by Mike Yaconelli (p. 17)
So it's raining here. And, the clouds and damp air outside almost make me believe that I'm in Oregon rather than Minnesota. But then the lack of mountains easily provide me my bearings.
It rained yesterday, too. And, I saw a little girl proudly wearing her pink, Dora the Explorer raincoat and carrying its matching umbrella. She was so pleased by the getup that she was so reluctant to put the umbrella down and take off the coat when she came inside.